Beauty turns Beast

Thanks to the original article

So you thought going in for a slimy mud bath was the most extreme measure you’d ever take in the name of beauty? Well then, take a look at some of these extreme beauty treatments and you’ll be rethinking that notion in no time!

Go Fish
Remember that episode of ‘Ugly Betty’ where Wilhelmean… er, Wilhelmina got herself a fish pedicure? Well ladies and gentlemen, such a thing really exists! The Japanese came up with this treatment that involves dipping your feet in a tub filled with little fish so they can eat away at the dead skin cells, leaving your feet as smooth as a baby’s bottom. Bet that’ll make you think twice before you call for a seafood platter…

Snail Mail
The knowledge that people eat snails was enough of a turn-off for me, so this was a bit much to take – snail slime has now become an ingredient of face creams! Chilean snail breeders realised that handling the snails had made their skins extremely soft and even healed minor cuts, which led to it being used to cure stretch marks, acne and lines. Imagine a snail crawling across your skin and you’ll know what the cream feels like!

Sing Like A Nightingale
The geishas of ancient Japan had an effective yet er… strange method to remove their make-up – they would use nightingale poop! One would think this treatment would die out with the advent of cleansers but no… it’s become more popular than ever. The nightingale feces is sterilised with UV light and mixed with white clay and the mixture is used to brighten and even the skin tone. Here’s hoping it’s unscented!

Egg White
Queen Elizabeth I was quite a fashionista in her times – she invented a ‘cream’ made of powdered white lead, egg whites and vinegar to give the faces a white appearance. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men (and women) could be seen sporting the look, till alas, most of them got burnt or died of lead poisoning. Now that’s what I call taking fashion too far!

Oh, Baby!
Now this one really takes the cake – imagine using a cream that has placenta as one of its main ingredients! Placenta is a common ingredient in anti-aging creams as it is claimed to tone up and nourish the skin, making it look younger. So far, I’ve come across creams with bovine and ovine placentas and as for the ones with human extracts… *makes gagging noises*

Bull’s Eye
What is with beauty ‘experts’ and animals of the steak variety? Many salons the world over offer what is commonly known as the ‘bull semen hair conditioning treatment’. This treatment-cum-gag enducer is a combination of bull semen (which is rich in keratin, the hair’s natural protein) and katera (a plant from Iran) and allegedly makes the hair as smooth as silk. Bullsh*t, we say!

Disclaimer: If for some Godforsaken reason you decide to go in for any of these treatments, please check with your dermatologist first.

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