How to make friends?

I know that it is basic knowledge but I was talking to one of my cousin-in-law last week and it gave me an idea to write this article. I know that when you are in college or even working, it is easy to make friends. But what about housewives who are all alone during the day at their home? I never realized how difficult it is to make friends when you don’t know anybody in a new city. To all the newly weds and housewives who have moved to a new city or even a new country, I think you will all relate to this article. I am going to write my experience when I moved to Seattle where I didn’t know anyone.

To go forward with this article you first have to know the kind of person I am. I am reserved and I don’t tend to go and talk to strangers to make friends. But when somebody introduce me to someone, then I will talk with them. I tend to get moody and zone out sometime and I think it’s because of being alone for years. Do you realize how difficult it is to find friends who just clicks? You meet a lot of people and you just click with only some. I never realized how difficult it is to make friends until I left Dublin. I have fantastic set of friends there and I didn’t even need to work that hard to find friends. I missed them the most when I moved to Seattle.

I remember the first 3 months or so after moving to Seattle, I was busy with finding houses and settling down. But once you have settled then what? How long can you watch TV? How long can you go out and window shop? I realized that hubby was finding it difficult since after he returned home from office, all I wanted to do was talk to him or go out with him. I was yearning to talk to someone since I was alone during the day. And all he wants is a quiet time since he mostly talks in his office. It was a difficult time for us. I was mostly depressed about it and just go in this zone out mood. Then hubby told me about a meetup group of Indian ladies. I looked it up and joined their group. And that is how my journey began to make friends.

I met a lot of ladies during those meetups but I only found 2 ladies who clicked with me. Slowly, after going to meetup every month, I started making friends. It is a slow process and lucky are the few, who get good friends quickly. I found that even though you have a lot of Indians around you, very few of them are willing to make friends because they have their own friends circle and they don’t really need you. But there are some ladies who are like me, new to the city and willing to make some new friends. But it is difficult to find them. I can’t blame the other housewives since they are busy with their kids and their friends as well.

It is difficult, isn’t it? when you move and you can’t seem to find any friends. You just can’t just trust anyone and the trust builds after some time but during that time, you feel alone and you just want to talk to someone. I felt like that throughout my first year here in this city. And you know the worst part? I was pregnant and I didn’t have anyone to talk to. I didn’t know what to get for the baby or where to get it. For me, it was all trial and error. Now I have a list of things to tell all first time mom’s. You do find lot of stuffs in the internet but you are confused about what to get. All my friends in this country live in east coast and I remember calling them and talking to them about the baby stuffs. But I wished I had someone  near by. I won’t ever forget that when I was admitted in the hospital, nobody knew because I didn’t have friends here. I felt really alone that time. I think I was depressed most of my first year. I then realized how lucky I was to have had some amazing friends in Dublin. If I was in Dublin, they would have visited me and gave me lot of advice’s and I would never have felt alone.

So my advice to all the newbie’s to a new city is find a group or even visit you nearby temple and you will start the process of making friends. Find a group which you are interested in, like a hobby group or even just volunteer somewhere so that you can make friends. I know that it will be tedious but you have to start somewhere, right? It might take time but at least you will find someone who can become your friend. But most of all, don’t think that you will never find such friends because you will but it will  just take time.

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